Anxiety and worry are things we all can struggle with at times and the core of those feelings is fear. But at some point, we have to realize we have our own loving power that’s bigger than our fear. And we need to claim that to free ourselves from the bondage of pain and lack of self-worth. The body sometimes knows how much you can handle – and if you’re open enough, it’ll give you what you need to keep growing.
On this episode of The Addicted Mind podcast, Duane talks to Gigi Langer about her award-winning book “50 Ways to Worry Less Now.” She takes us through her own recovery story, how worry and fear were a major part of it, and how she learned to overcome it and create the life that she loves and thrives in.
Growing up in a family with an alcoholic in the family, Gigi chose to be the “good girl.” At 40, she was completing her Ph.D. at Stanford and was under a lot of stress and pressure. She had a lot of crash and burn relationships and had divorced twice by the time she was in her doctoral program. She discovered marijuana, which somehow softened the blow of all her disappointments from all the tension and failed relationships. She thought her achievements and romance were going to take care of her feelings, but those didn’t work obviously.
Gigi practically lived a double life, being the good girl as the assistant professor at Stanford, and also living a life of promiscuity and in the early stages of alcoholism. She then proved to herself over the next six months that she could not predict what behavior she would display even if she only had one drink.
Eventually, her third husband went to an Al-Anon meeting and Gigi went to AA. She stuck with the program and therapy. She got divorced after a year of all the therapy, this time, in a responsible way. The following year, she met her husband whom she has been married to for over 30 years now – happy and fulfilled.
In this episode, you will hear:
- Gigi’s addiction and recovery journey
- The healing of the old patterns
- The whispered lies we tell ourselves
- Claiming your true self or loving power, bigger than your own fear
- Her desire to write a book
- The unconditional positive regard
- The biggest worry-buster and anxiety-buster technique
- Connecting with your authentic self
[11:57] – “The true self or loving power… we have to be honest and we have to claim some kind of power bigger than our own fear.”
[13:37] – “I was afraid that if I ripped the band-aid off and started getting honest, all the feelings would come out and just completely destroy me. And that was not my experience. It still felt scary when those things came up. But I could handle them.”
[18:57] – “We think what our minds are producing is real and that our feelings are 100% real… but it is a story that our minds have made up based on our past.”
[19:33] – “The lies that we tell ourselves have nothing to do with who we are at base.”
[25:41] – “Most of the things that are advertised and glorified are things that numb us away from our true selves… if we’re numbing our feelings out with any habitual behavior, our chance of becoming happy is almost nil because we won’t be able to get honest and own what’s going on with us.”
[27:33] – “When we start to heal and get honest, and we dissolve some of those blockages, then more love flows in and out. And then these amazing things start happening.”
[28:26] – “Scary things scare us. That’s never going to stop. It’s what happens once I notice I’m scared… Call someone, reach out for help, pray, meditate, and use some of the tools. Enter the process of working with it.”
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50 Ways to Worry Less Now by Gigi Langer
A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson