In this episode of The Addicted Mind, Duane speaks with Dr. Nima Rahmani, a former chiropractor turned emotional health educator. Dr. Nima shares his profound journey from “success on paper” to a total relational breakdown that forced him to confront his own deep-seated patterns of anxious attachment and fawning.
They dive deep into the concept of becoming “trigger-proof,” the hidden cost of people-pleasing, and why “shame alchemization” is the secret to a truly authentic life. Whether you are struggling with addiction, burnout, or toxic relationship cycles, this episode offers a roadmap for moving from unconscious reactivity to conscious leadership.
Key Topics & Chapters
- [01:32] The Wake-Up Call: Dr. Nima discusses how a crisis in his personal life and a brush with the legal system forced him to look past his professional success and address his defensive reactivity.
- [03:54] The Cost of Fawning: A breakdown of the “Fawn” response—how suppressing your truth to appease others creates a “bottomless pit” of resentment and physical inflammation.
- [10:14] Defining the Fawn Response: Dr. Nima provides a powerful analogy of how children learn to appease “predators” (caregivers) to survive, and how that evolves into a destructive adult relationship strategy.
- [14:41] Somatic Impact: Exploring the link between unresolved emotional wounds, fawning, and chronic physical issues like autoimmune diseases and inflammation.
- [21:00] Loving the Shadow: Why true self-love isn’t about liking your “best” parts, but about “unshaming” the parts of yourself you’ve tried to kill off or hide.
- [27:12] Success vs. Intimacy: Why high-achieving entrepreneurs often crush it in business but fail in relationships, and how the “push energy” of success can actually block emotional safety.
- [47:26] The Worthiness Inquiry: Dr. Nima shares a foundational question for listeners: “I am only worthy of love when…”
- [52:00] The Heartbeat Realization: A moving story about hearing his son’s heartbeat and rediscovering the concept of inherent worthiness.
Key Quotes
“Shame alchemization is the secret to being a human… finding these embarrassing, unacceptable parts of us and really looking to understand them.” — Dr. Nima Rahmani
“Fawning is when you freeze a part of you in an interaction… you freeze your truth and then you perform niceness.” — Dr. Nima Rahmani
“One size fits all is not real. It’s not real for baseball caps, and it’s not real for recovery plans.” — Dr. Nima Rahmani (Note: This is a callback to the theme of individualized healing)
“The path to self-love is really about loving your shadow.” — Dr. Nima Rahmani
Understanding the Survival Responses
To better understand where “Fawning” fits into our biological safety system, it helps to see it alongside the more commonly known stress responses:
- Fight: Aggression and boundary-setting.
- Flight: Avoiding or escaping the threat.
- Freeze: Numbing out or becoming paralyzed.
- Fawn: Appeasing the threat to ensure safety.
Resources Mentioned
- The Attachment Style Quiz: Discover if you are anxious, avoidant, or disorganized. [Link provided in bio/show notes]
- Recovery Demystified: Exploring “Quit Lit” and science-based recovery tools.
- “Unshaming”: The work of David Bedrick.
About Dr. Nima Rahmani
Dr. Nima Rahmani is the founder of the Trigger-Proof methodology. He helps entrepreneurs and individuals heal attachment wounds to uplevel their capacity for love and leadership.
Connect with Dr. Nima:
- Website:https://becometriggerproof.com/
- Instagram: @drnima
Previous Interview With Dr. Nima Rahmani
If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center
We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind
Episode Credits
If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center
We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind