Whether it’s divorce, job loss, addiction, or being the spouse of an addict, we’re all going through recovery from something. We can make our own path – and that’s what recovery is all about. You’ve just got to learn how to pick up and move on.
On today’s episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast, Duane speaks with certified recovery and family addiction coach, Dana Golden, who talks about living on the other side of addiction. She shares what it was like living with a partner struggling with addiction and how she found her own freedom through that.
Growing up, Dana’s dad had a process addiction – gambling, sex, alcohol, you name it. From that, she learned some very maladaptive behaviors to cope with, which she carried over later on with her other relationships, including her then-husband. She eventually got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Having been brought up with the idea that she needs a man, she finally understood that her whole recovery journey was all about advocating for herself and celebrating her independence as a woman.
Fast-forward to today, Dana and her ex-husband have come full circle, having co-authored the book “Addiction Rescue: The NO-BS Guide to Recovery,” and maintaining a great relationship, now as business partners and certified recovery coaches, helping other families heal.
In this episode, you will hear:
- Going into a cycle of dysfunctional relationships
- How her ex-spouse gambled everything away
- Learning how to separate the person from the addiction
- How she came full-circle with her ex-husband
- Setting boundaries for yourself
- What happens during an intervention
[04:30] – “I thought by dumping his cocaine down the toilet, or emptying his bottles of booze in the sink that I can control his use… I quickly learned I wasn’t going to cure him and I needed to cure me.”
[06:56] – “Just like an addict that’s sick and tired of being sick and tired, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.”
[10:31] – “We can make our own path and that’s what recovery is all about. We have to recover from everything in life, whether it’s divorce, job loss, addiction, or being the spouse of an addict. We’re all in recovery from something.”
[13:44] – “It doesn’t matter how many times you fall down, it’s just about picking yourself up again, and how many times you can get up – because anything’s possible.”
[18:45] – “Relapse is a part of addiction… every time there’s a relapse, it’s an opportunity for growth.”
[20:55] – “Boundaries are so important. And before you can set them, you have to know that it’s a boundary you can keep.”
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Addiction Rescue: The NO-BS Guide to Recovery by David Marlon and Dana GoldenFind out what maladaptive role you’ve taken on in your relationship: www.danagolden.com/quiz.